Zero Score and Seven Years Ago

PEOPLE. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. It's been too long! College is hard. But it's finally done for now, which means I can be much more committed to making you laugh. So let's pick up where we left off.

The summer going into 8th grade very well read into how the following school year would turn out. It might have been one of the overall most awkward years of my life. My very dark hair had very blonde highlights, which were legitimately yellow. Ask any of my friends. They were (and still are) very honest individuals who told me it didn't look good. Did I listen to them? No, of course I didn't. So for the remainder of the year, I looked like a burger with too much mustard on it. Bad life choice? Yes, Molly. Very bad life choice. I try not to think about it, but whenever I do I wish my 21-year-old self could have been there to scream "STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW YOU'LL REGRET THIS." But I couldn't. So I did it. And I regret it.

I digress. This story is from May of that year. It was the time every 8th grade student dreaded; the assignment they had been hearing of from their older peers for the past three years: memorizing the Gettysburg Address and reciting it in front of the class (and if you wanted to embarrass yourself even more, choosing to sing the school house rock version of it). Since the whole hair situation was bad enough I opted to say it rather than sing it because I wanted to be at least somewhat comfortable with myself. So for the next two weeks, I went home to burn the Gettysburg Address into my brain. I listened to it on my iPod, split up the sections into flash cards to study, and recited it to myself in the shower. I mean, all I wanted was a good grade.

So the day of reciting came, and my work paid off as I nailed it. But there's one more thing I meant to mention... our history teacher chose one student out of the whole grade to recite it in front of hundreds of people at our town's memorial day parade. So the next day, after a night of pondering who to choose, who do you think she approached in the hallway to let them know she picked them?

Yes. That would be me.

At the time, my 14-year-old self was honored, and I figured, "I recited it perfectly once; what's another go?" Had my 21-year-old present self again had been there, she probably would have said "Molly, save yourself. It only gets more awkward from here so you might as well have one less story to write on your blog."

But as I said before I had no future self to hold me back, so I began the routine again: iPod, flash cards, shower, and now reciting it in front of my family and their friends, and going to bed listening to it. I could NOT mess this up.

The day of the parade came. We listened to our first selectman speak, then a poem was recited by another girl in my grade. And then it was my turn.

Did I mention that I was in the middle school marching band that was participating in this parade? The one with the big, bulky maroon and gold uniforms? The one that I had to wear as I stood in front of the entire town and their cousin? Well, I was in the marching band with the big bulky maroon and gold uniforms that I had to wear in front of the whole entire town and their cousin. As you picture this, don't forget the previous description of my hairstyle at the time. This is hard for me to do, but I do it because I love you all. Here is a picture from this very day so you can accurately picture the embarrassment I faced without even having to get up on stage:

Oh, yes I know. That's bad. You're welcome.

So in my band uniform and cheeseburger hair, I took a breath, looked at my history teacher next to my mom with the camera, and began: "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..."

And I went right through it without missing a word, then confetti fell while everyone did the Harlem shake.

Just kidding!

I got about halfway through, and it was right around "It is for the living, rather..." when I completely blanked out. And I'm not talking about a little awkward pause, I'm talking about an absolute brain fart in which I had literally no clue what came next. So a little awkward pause turned into about thirty seconds (it was probably ten, but if felt like eternity to me) of "uhhhhh..." and nervously clicking my tongue. And you know that face people make when a football player accidentally tackles the opposing coach trying to catch a ball going out of bounds while going "oooooh"? That's the face everyone was making, including my history teacher and my mom with the camera... still recording.

After skipping two or three lines, I found my way to the end of the speech. My face was on fire with embarrassment as everyone gave me the pity applause and Abraham Lincoln rolled in his grave. I then did probably what any other eighth grader would want to do after putting an iconic speech to shame: hopped back in line with the marching band, clarinet in hand.

Thankfully, the incident isn't brought up too much anymore, and six years later I have yet to watch the video of it. But on the bright side, if it hadn't happened it would be one less blog post/opportunity for me to make fun of myself.

In the winter I finished Joyce Meyer's daily devotional "The Confident Woman" (please note that as I typed that I began laughing hysterically picturing the name of this book along with the picture of me above). A few of the messages toward the end of the study had been about how God sometimes uses trials in order to prepare us for something else in the future. Usually, these are humbling experiences that turn prideful people into ones who find their confidence in God rather than in themselves. Maybe I failed miserably that day because my pride was in myself, the girl who had nailed the speech in class a week before. Or maybe God was trying to better prepare me for the next time I had to memorize something. Either way, our failures along the road shouldn't discourage us. Rather, we should look at it with a positive attitude as a learning experience from God. Proverbs 1:5 says, "The wise also will hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding will acquire skill and attain to sound counsel." This was just one of many lessons God taught me - my self-confidence will only be effective if it's in Him. He builds this up in us as we go throughout our lives. While God further prepares us for future opportunities, our pride lessens as he gives us learning experiences that humble us.

Here's the song of the day that I found to get me through finals week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. The covers by this girl are phenomenal. This song is great for relaxing, driving home after a long day, or spending time to yourself: The Postal Service's "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" by Birdy. (I'm now linking them since the videos haven't been showing. All you have to do is click!)